I tuck my legs under me and situate myself where the two cushions meet on my couch. I sink in, but not too far. I drape my warm blanket over me and bribe my puppy with a nice belly rub to come lay next to me. Once she’s on me, I’m finally situated. I open my blank page/draft post. I stare at the blank page that is asking me to share my best experiences, my life changing moments, my daily dilemmas, but I can’t. I’m distracted. Tabs and tabs and tabs.
Inbox. Google Drive. March Madness. Google Doc. #If you learned here. Kidblog. WordPress. WordPress. WordPress. Youtube.
Click here and dibble dabble. I feel fulfilled and satisfied so I move onto the next one. Nothing. Click the last one and forget why I’m there. Click the next one and click some more. After clicking on all of them I am brought back to my page.
I have to write all at once. I’m not one who can write something, step away, and come back to continue working. I have to write at one time and I have to write fast. What I say at first doesn’t always make sense. It may not be what I’m trying to say, but getting it out is better than where I was originally and that was avoiding it. I find myself writing my last sentence and looking back at a embarrassing, sad paragraph. I think, What?! I feel like I just poured it out there and what I had to say was so important. That’s really all I wrote? The frustration and temptation to give up, but I reread it to myself. I have planted a seed. I have put down my roots and now I need to do more. I correct. I reorganize. I choose precise words to convey what I really mean. I play with structure. I add more and I add more.
My original thought and idea is no longer there. That was just my seed. It grows into something new every time.
Sometimes in the direction I planned it to go in= Tulip
Sometimes it soars into a masterpiece = Sunflower
Sometimes it’s short and simple = Daisy
Sometimes it’s full of emotion and deeper meaning= lilac
but no matter what, I’ve realized that if I allow myself to just write and come back to it with a fresh set of eyes, I can make it grow into what I want.
I was inspired by Elisabeth Ellington’s post where she shares about her writing life. I loved how vulnerable she was and how she was opening up to others about her personal writing life. I try to do this with my students so they can relate to my experiences, but I’m curious to read about their personal writing lives. What challenges they face, their writing routine, etc.